While serving in the United States Marine Corps, one of the biggest things I learned from my experience was the power of setting procedures. Ingraining procedures into the mind allows Marines to not only free up mental space to handle the nuances of the battlefield, but to move toward mission success while doing so. And we wouldn’t just set any old procedures in place. We would ensure, through pre-battlefield trial and error, that they were the most effective routes to take.
When you have zero experience and zero planning, going straight onto the battlefield is extremely intimidating. But the Marines’ secret to effectiveness is our willingness to become masterfully competent in everything, both big and small. If we can make it into a procedure, we make it a procedure. From how to flank the enemy, all the way down to getting rid of a weapon malfunction, if we can make it a procedure, we do. We know it’s the most effective solution. We’ve practiced it many times. And when fear and adrenaline kick in, so does our training. We’ve built the habits. We see the patterns. Once the pattern is triggered by specific outside stimuli, we execute.
If my rifle jams, I don’t have to sit there and think about possible solutions (and quite frankly, there’s no time for that shit).
*TAP. RACK. BANG*
You tap the bottom of the magazine.
You rack the charging handle by pulling it back and releasing.
You attempt to aim in fire.
This solves 95% of weapon malfunctions.
Because I’ve ingrained this, my mental ram has been freed up to allow other processes to take place. I’m able to take care of my weapon jam while still being able to communicate with my team members, maintain a dominant posture, and keep an eye out on the battlefield.
In the beginning of game, you don’t know what’s up from down and what’s left from right. You’re scared, you don’t know what to say, you don’t know what to do, and the idea of actually taking home a girl is so far out of reality, you can’t fathom ever accomplishing it. It takes most guys forever to open their first set of the night, and once they do, there’s such an overwhelming flood of adrenaline that they panic and eject from the set as soon as they can. They’re terrified.
Part of this fear stems from actual underlying traumatic experiences that they had in their childhoods . . . but part of this stems from simply not knowing what to do. They’re placing their own physical bodies in an extremely dynamic situation, with little to no experience and zero idea of what’s the correct thing to do . . . and thus, panic ensues.
And now to the point of this article:
When you enter a new realm of game that you aren’t experienced with, it’s MASSIVELY helpful to solve the problems BEFOREHAND.
If you’re unable to think of the solution when you’re IN the field, find out possible solutions when you’re OFF the field. If you’re getting a bunch of shit tests on your height, sit down before you go out one night and figure out good responses to that shit test. Do the research, review videos on technique, and ask people more experienced. If you fucked up a pull because you didn’t know how to transition from the club to your apartment, sit down and figure it out and go out the next night EQUIPPED with solutions.
Some people may think this is having “canned game.” It’s actually the opposite. Setting these things creates a solid platform for you to work off of. It frees up mental space and allows you to focus on other things in the set as opposed to trying to figure out on the fly the solution to problems you could’ve solved BEFORE you went out into the field. And it’s key to remember: You ALREADY HAVE patterns in your mind.
By default, those habits are going to take charge when shit hits the fan. As coaches, we see this time and time again when guys approach. Students “run out of things to say,” they don’t escalate or move the set, they qualify themselves. And they do all this over and over and over again . . . UNTIL we bring awareness to their sticking points, give them solid steps to take, and break their patterns. They then begin creating NEW patterns . . .new, effective patterns that move toward success.
Setting procedures is ingraining positive patterns in your mind. It’s not the end-all- be-all solution to all of your sticking points, but it’s a solid start to work from. The two main things that I personally find beneficial for me to have procedures for is pulling and physically escalating. When I went to my first Vegas World Summit in 2014, I already had a good amount of experiences under my belt (threesomes, crazy pull stories, etc.), but I was still not consistent in my game.
One of my biggest sticking points was physical escalation. From there, I started to use a physical escalation stack that I could stick to. I would be less panicky in sets and already know what was tried and true to develop consistency.
This was my physical escalation stack:
- High five
- Slow dance
- Eskimo kiss
The steps themselves aren’t the greatest, but they were perfect for me at the level I was at. And at that period in my life, I needed the structure. This stack was set to progressively get more and more sexual and allowed me the trust and comfort to know what to do next in the interaction. It gave me something to trust when I began to panic and wasn’t sure what to do. And once I began executing, I started to notice some things:
- The fear began to go away.
- The times where it did work vs. the times where it didn’t work and why that was so.
- I began to pay attention more to the girls’ subcommunication.
- I started to notice nuanced things that I wasn’t able to pick up on before.
- I had much more success in my interactions.
I started to see when a girl was more receptive to physicality. I paid attention to her compliance. When I would do something like go for a hug, did she back away or did she stay still and accept the hug? And then it went deeper. . . .
When I would go for the hug, did she not only comply but actively participate in my physical escalation? Did she hug back?
After using this for a little while, I began to not need the stack anymore. I became more comfortable with the dynamics of the interactions. I built massive competency with physical escalation and began able to trust my instincts. From here, I was able to do things like instant make-outs and five-minute pulls because of this newfound clarity. I was now more in tune with the dynamics of my interactions.
I took the same strategy I used to learn proper physical escalation and applied it to logistics and consistently pulling. Every time I fucked up a pull or had a pull go successfully, I learned something. I learned more of what DOES work and what DOESN’T. And I took these experiences, along with outside research and knowledge, and created my own procedures.
- Always having drinks in my apartment
- Before heading to my rooftop, leading her to the apartment first so she can drop off her coat and purse
- Objecting to her staying long before she objects
- Before closing, escalating in the kitchen, away from a bed, so she has less of a “slut defense” (my kitchen is right next to my bedroom)
- Having wet wipes in the bathroom so she can freshen up and not feel insecure about herself down there
- Setting a comfortable ambience: dimly lit, warm lighting and music at a low volume
These are a few things that I began to include in my process to maximize success. Depending on the set, the process may change, but setting up a basic procedure in the first place is what allowed me to develop more freedom, creativity, and ingenuity down the road.
And this extended to other areas of my game. At this point in my life, I’ve automated many things. I have multiple seeds when I seed the pull. I know how once I find her blueprint, how I should frame the set. I know what words and verbiage are going to propel the narrative she has of our relationship, and what words and verbiage will ruin the set. I have a keen understanding of when I should object before she does. And this all stems from the initial levels in game, setting up procedures and a basic structure to follow, and building from this foundation a more free, intuitive approach to game.