“State” in the real world… a quick lesson

Todd Uncategorized

You may notice in my upcoming video, (SPOILER, I know) that I look a little different. Specifically the beard is gone. That was not intentional, but it does make for a good lesson.

I went in for a haircut the other day at a salon I’d never been to. It was a high-end establishment for the area and the hairdresser was even a bit cocky. I showed her pictures of David Beckham and Justin Timberlake as templates for my cut and she claimed Becks’s style was a flawed cut and mine would be better… LOL

She seemed, nice, personable, confident… she asked what I was planning to do with my ample beard, and I said, “I’ll shave it later, but if you need to make it match the sideburns a bit that’s fine.”

Then a few minutes later she was cleaning up my neck line and reached the bottom of my beard (the scraggly neckbeard hairs). She asked if it was okay to trim there. And I affirmed that it was.

She then proceeded to take the trimmer right into the middle of my beard and remove a chunk. I must have looked startled because she stopped dead in her tracks and said meekly, “Is it okay that it’s that short?”

I sighed and said, since it wasn’t about to grow back, she might as well trim the rest to match.

So now you know where my beard went… but where’s the lesson?

It’s coming. But here’s a preview:

After her obvious mistake, everything about the stylist changed.

She suddenly became somber and had nothing to say… which was fine.

She no longer seemed happy… which was¬†understandable.

But the crazy thing was she lost not only all of her confidence, but seemingly all her judgment and hair cutting ability as well.

Once she was done with the chemical part of the haircut, it was time to actually do the cut.

She asked me if I wanted her to cut it or just leave it as it was! Now the top part was clearly too long for the sides at this point, so that was a ridiculous question.

I said she should cut it. Then she started asking me for advice!!! and kept repeating, “I’ll do whatever you say,” as though it were a religious mantra that would save her.

She asked me if I wanted her to cut the right or the left side!!

I explained that she should cut it everywhere so it would be even rather than lopsided, then reiterated how I style it and wear it.

She took a few tentative cuts with her scissors on the right side only, then asked if that was good!

I won’t belabor the point further, but she was actually competent at her job… or in any case, she had been competent until she got “in her head”. Once that happened though, she became utterly useless.

And as you see in the video above, this is not a phenomenon limited to hairdressers. It happens in sports and it happens a TON in game.

So many guys are actually GOOD at game, until they get their first bad reaction of the night. Then, rather than pick themselves up and do another approach at the level they’re capable of, they spend the rest of the night reliving that moment. And like that hairdresser, they become useless.

So here’s a little mantra that is actually helpful.

“The past is done and it doesn’t matter. What can I do NOW that will make a positive difference?”

This should be your attitude during a good night or a bad night. The girl has no idea of your past; she just knows what you’re bringing to the table RIGHT NOW. So that’s the only thing worth focusing on. No matter what, just making this moment the best it can be is the ONLY thing you can control, and therefore the only thing there is to focus on.