Full disclosure: This article isn’t just about getting girls.
In fact this applies to basically any area of your life that you want to conquer.
But for now I’m going to talk about my area of expertise: getting girls.
When I first found out about the game community at the age of 18, (when I was a virgin), I almost immediately fell in love with the very concept.
I dove in hard.
After some suffering and confusion at the beginning, I quickly lost my virginity…
…followed by a pretty fast climb to what I would consider pretty damn good game even by my current standards, 15 years later.
I credit that fast learning curve to a number of things, but there’s one in particular that I believe made me absolutely unstoppable.
And it certainly isn’t my height lol.
Actually, it’s a belief.
You see I’ve got a bone to pick with those popular instagram memes about “Hard work” and “Hustle”.
Know what I really think?
“Hustle” is overrated.
If your goal is to reach your goals…you can’t think in simplistic terms like that.
If anything, the average student of game places way too much emphasis on the “hard work” parts of game.
Ie. How many days I went out, hours I spent in-field, approaches, numbers, etc.
All too often, I see countless pickup dudes doing the most obnoxious uncalibrated opens again and again, going from blowout to blowout, creeping out every girl in the venue, and telling themselves that they’re “hustling” and “self-amusing”.
“You haven’t hooked up with a girl in a month, but at least you spent 100 hours infield doing it! Awesome hustle bro!”
Pretty delusional, right?
If this is you…please stop.
I realized a couple pretty important things early on in my game career.
I knew the “traditional” thinking about getting girls was totally wrong. The things my parents, friends and society taught me about what women wanted would never work in a million years.
I even had my doubts about a lot of those early pickup theories that are now long gone.
I knew the system of how men and women met and hooked up could be figured out.
That is, it could be hacked.
And I could hack it.
Because any system on planet Earth can be hacked…
…and this one was no different.
So that’s what I looked for:
The most painful part of my early years in game was opening.
I just had no idea what the heck to say to get a girl to hook.
As a result, my approach anxiety was out of control.
So I focused on hacking that until I perfected it.
If you look at how I open now, there’s a consistent, highly refined process in play there that’s a result of 15 years of experiments.
And although it might look super-scripted in parts, I’ve got news for you:
When I see my perfect 10 walking out of her yoga class, I approach with full confidence without a second’s hesitation.
I stop her. I know exactly what to say. And 80-90% of the time, it usually works really damn well.
And here’s the kicker:
I do it with zero confusion.
Because I hacked the process of opening girls to the point of making it a complete no-brainer.
A situation that is pretty much a nightmare for most men, I’ve now got down to an automatic process that I can repeat on demand.
It’s not as sexy as the “hustle” memes, but you know what, this shit works.
The massive power of negative polarization.
The psychology of a 10 versus a 6.
The power of silence.
Breaking rapport tonality.
These are all time-tested game hacks that you can never really learn correctly if you’re going out and “hustling” all night long.
And here’s my other beef with the H word.
Just going out night after night, putting in the hours, doing mass uncalibrated approaching, is the surest way I’ve seen of learning the WRONG habits.
The funny thing is you actually will end up getting results that way.
Sporadic, mediocre results with uninspiring girls that will make you think you’re “doing pickup”.
In my experience, this is THE major reason why so many guys never really get their dream girl.
Because they learned how to game the girls that WEREN’T their dream girl.
Practice doesn’t make perfect….practice makes permanent.
If you keep doing the wrong thing night after night, it’s only a matter of time before it becomes second-nature to who you are.
And that’s beyond frightening.
All I’m going to say about the “hustle” mentality is this:
No doubt hard work plays a role in success. Not arguing that.
But too many guys stop there.
And then wonder why they’re not getting the results they really wanted.
At the end of the day, it’s SMART work that almost guarantees success.
Don’t just hustle.